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The Good Run

I have been struggling with my running lately.  Not in any big way, but just enough for me to have been craving a Good Run.  I have had several enjoyable and satisfying runs lately, but a Good Run is something special.  It is one where, even if you struggle a bit at first, you suddenly realize, a couple of kilometres in, that you have found your groove.  A Good Run is not necessarily easy – in fact, the challenging nature of it is part of what makes it Good.  When you finish the run and hit the “Stop” button on your watch, you have a feeling of accomplishment.  You have done the distance you promised yourself, and you have reserves left in the tank.  You would be able to go further if you wanted to, and yet you feel that you have pushed yourself.

I have not had a Good Run for about six weeks.

Until this morning.

I drove to the community centre to see which other members of my running club were venturing out for a run in the snow.  As it turned out, there were only two of us, and the other runner is one that I can pace myself to fairly well.  Because of the snow on the ground, we agreed on seven kilometres.  We briefly contemplated a trail by the lake, but rejected that idea due to the possibility of ice.  We are two women running by ourselves in very wintery conditions: we chose to play it safe and stick to the roads.

The snow on the sidewalk made it a little difficult for us to keep our footing, and it took me about 1.5km to find my rhythm.  Once I was going though, I was going pretty well.  I resisted the temptation to outpace myself in the beginning, and although I did not make it all the way up the one and only (and very, very long and steep) hill on our route, I gave it a good shot and did pretty well.   A water break and short breather at the top, and both of us were ready to go again.  The sidewalks were a lot more slippery towards the end of the run, but I finished pretty strong.

The seven kilometres took a little more than 43 minutes.  Considering the snowy conditions we were running in, I was happy with that time.  But as with any Good Run, the time wasn’t even the point (that’s the other thing: Good Runs are not necessarily the fastest runs).  The point was that I set out with a distance in mind, and I completed that distance feeling good about it the whole way.  I felt that I had accomplished something, and maybe set myself back on track to actually follow a proper training program.

I have a little story that illustrates what a Good Run is like.  Recently – on Christmas Day, as it happens – my younger son celebrated his 5th birthday.  In honour of the occasion, I made him a cake.  The trouble was, I didn’t have any icing to put on the cake.  I dug around in the kitchen cupboards and did some research on the Internet, and came up with a recipe for icing sugar.  A couple of hours and a big giant mess in the kitchen later, I had produced an iced, decorated cake.  I had worked really hard to make it, and I had poured into it lots of love for my son.

It was not the best cake I had ever made.  The icing was not as nice as the stuff you buy in the stores, and my “Happy Birthday James” lettering was not the neatest.  But you know what?  Because of what had gone into the making of it, and because of the look on my son’s face when he saw this cake that had been made just for him, it was the best cake I ever had.

A Good Run is like that – what makes it Good is not how fast you do it or whether it is easy – what makes it Good is the heart and soul that goes into it, and the feeling of reward that you have at the end.

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Against the wind

Preparations for my weekday runs usually involve a great deal of stealth.  I wake up at five in the morning, and then sneak around in my own house, getting dressed as silently as possible.  There’s a lot of tiptoeing and feeling my way around in order to avoid alerting the short people to the fact that I’m actually awake.  It’s dark and I look like a burglar.  Once I’m dressed, I make my way to the front door in my socks, grab my shoes, and leave.  I close and lock the door behind me as quietly as possible, and then put my ear up against the door to listen to the blissful sound of silence coming from within.  Now that I have successfully made my escape, I put on my shoes, plug in my music, fiddle with buttons on my training watch, and set off.

If the kids wake up at any point during this process, I can say goodbye to my run. They tend to be somewhat Mommy-centric in the mornings (if they wake up and I’m already gone, Daddy is an acceptable substitute; but if they wake up while I’m there, they want me and only me). On those days, I tend to their needs and then get ready for work, staring wistfully at my pile of discarded running clothes.  In general, though, I have become very good at the art of stealth.  I could probably give James Bond a run for his money, except that I can’t fire a gun, I don’t have any fancy gadgets in my car, and I like my martinis stirred, not shaken.

Anyway, yesterday I was able to go for a run at a normal time of the day, without the stealth factor.  I was working from home, which meant that I had an extra two hours – time that is usually spent commuting.  So I got up at a time of day considered by most people to be reasonably civilized, offloaded James at his daycare, and returned home to work.  I planned my day’s activities around an early afternoon run, which would have me back by the time George got home from the therapy centre.

Halfway through the morning, though, I was not so sure about this plan.  I had been steadily working through the morning, and had gradually become aware that the house was feeling a bit stuffy, like a vacuum cleaner’s armpit (to borrow a phrase from comedic author Douglas Adams).  I poured a cup of coffee and went out onto the back deck, where I almost got blown away by a gust of wind.  If I’d had an umbrella I would have been like Mary Poppins.

I don’t mind a bit of a breeze, but I hate wind.  I can handle just about any other weather condition, but wind makes me intensely irritable.  It blows my hair everywhere, makes my ears hurt, and generally sets me on edge.  I will not forego a training run because of rain or snow, but I must confess that I have rescheduled runs because I just didn’t want to run in the wind.  So when I went outside yesterday and stood there in the wind, I seriously questioned whether I really wanted to go running in that.

I quickly got a hold of myself, though.  I have a 10km race coming up this weekend – one that I’ve been looking forward to for weeks – and this is really not the week for me to be flaking out because of a little bit of wind.  I need to be well-conditioned this week; my limbs need to be loose and agile.  And besides, what I am going to do if it’s windy on race day?  Whine about how I don’t want my hair to get messed up?

So yesterday afternoon, I surfaced from my work and got ready to go running as planned.  I braced myself, opened the front door – and stepped out into a stunningly gorgeous afternoon.  The sun was shining and a light breeze was blowing – nothing like the gusty wind that had set my teeth on edge just four hours previously.  As I set off down the road, I could not believe that I had almost foregone this run.

It turned out to be fantastic.  The sun was gently touching my shoulders and the breeze was keeping me cool.  In the beginning I was taking it slow and easy; for the last two kilometres I was flying.  I was on a high for the rest of the day; the physical activity boosted my energy, and as always after a run, I felt a sense of accomplishment.

If I felt that great after a 5.5km training run, imagine how I will feel standing at the finish line of my run for autism.

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Questioning my sanity…

While I was out for my early morning run today, I seriously contemplated the possibility that I was going mad.  I actually pondered out loud, to the bemusement of a pair of young men who were standing in a bus shelter.  I was muttering about how I must be crazy to be doing this, and how normal people were tucked up in their nice warm beds at that hour of the day. Although to be honest, the hour of the day wasn’t bothering me as much as the God-awful weather I was trying to run in.

Since I got all serious about my running about a year ago, I have openly told people that I will run in any weather.  And I will.  The hot sun is not a deterrent as long as I am wearing a hat and keeping myself hydrated.  Even though I am now Canadian, I am from Africa.  I am a child of the sun.  I don’t mind the rain – in fact, a light drizzle of rain during a run can be extremely comfortable and refreshing.  Snow?  No problem, as long as I watch my step and take care to avoid slipping.  Even sub-zero temperatures will not deter me.  I have good quality winter running gear.  All things being equal, I prefer to run in clear, warm conditions, but that is certainly not a prerequisite to me hitting the road.

The hour of the day isn’t a big factor to me either.  If I had my way, I would run at about ten in the morning.  But since I have not yet made my millions publishing my first novel or won the lottery, I have to get to work in the mornings, so any weekday running is done either before or after work, or during lunch.  My preference is before work because of all that feel-good stuff about starting the day with an accomplishment and not having the go through the day all tense about when I’ll get to go running.

So for today’s run, I dragged my sorry butt out of bed at 5:15 a.m.  Because I didn’t think to look out of the window while I was getting dressed, I was completely oblivious to what was going on outside. As a result, when I stepped outside at 5:30 and beheld the dark and the mist and the rain, I was completely taken by surprise. No problem, I thought, as I quickly ducked back into the house to grab my running jacket.  I set off on my way, and got halfway down the road before I realized that the rain was actually heavier than I had thought.

Still, it wasn’t too bad.  I’m not scared of a little rain.  It’s only water falling out of the sky.  I maintained a fairly brisk pace for three kilometres, and despite the weather I quite enjoyed myself.  During the last two kilometres, though, the weather abruptly changed.  What had been a gentle breeze suddenly kicked up to a full-on wind that I was running straight into, and the rain really started pelting down.  The temperature plummeted, and I realized that there were little bits of ice in the rain, hitting me in the face like lots of tiny hammers.

That is the point at which I asked myself if I was crazy.

You would think that these awful conditions would slow down my pace, but I actually kicked it up a notch.  The faster I ran, the faster I would be able to get home and get inside. When I rounded the final corner, I sprinted home, and embraced the warmth of indoors.  Looking at the run stats on my computer, I was not surprised to see that I had run the final kilometre in less than six minutes, such had been my desparation to get home.

Am I crazy? Probably.  Will I run again in those conditions?  Most definitely.

My name is Kirsten and I am a runnaholic!