post

Sometimes Goals Change – And That’s OK

7438000838_f8288f46c4

At the beginning of this year, I had some lofty plans. I was going to either launch a freelance business or become gainfully employed. I was going to run three half-marathons in addition to my first 30K. I was going to clean up my eating, once and for all. I was going to find ways to become happier, more fulfilled, and better at being me.

We are two months into the year, and so far, none of my goals are shaping up quite the way I wanted. Although I have been looking for and applying to work opportunities, my heart hasn’t really been in it. I’ve been feeling a little adrift, not really knowing what direction is the right one. In addition, as hard as it’s been financially, there is one aspect of my unemployment that I’ve been enjoying: having time to be a mom. I love being here to get my children ready for school, and I love being here when they get home. At some point, unless I can get enough freelance work to keep the wheels turning, I will have to give that up.

My running goals haven’t been panning out, either, largely because of the winter we have had. Months ago, I registered for the Around The Bay 30K race, which happens on March 30th, and I promised myself that I would set my mind to my training. It has been a lot easier said than done. To be fair to myself, I have tried hard, but the Polar Vortex had other plans for me. Because of the ice storms, excessive snow and unbelievably cold temperatures, I have been forced off the road and onto the treadmill. The few runs that I have managed outside have been challenging – running through snow, running through icy puddles of melting slush, falling on ice and hurting myself.

A couple of weekends ago, while I was heading to the gym for yet another long run on the lab rat machine, I suddenly asked myself how much I cared about doing this 30K race at the end of the month. On the one hand, I hate registering for races and not doing them. But on the other hand, how wise would it be for me to attempt a new distance right after the worst winter I’ve ever experienced?

As I did that run on the treadmill, I pondered the idea of bailing on the Around The Bay race and instead going for the Midsummer Night’s Run – also a 30K event – that happens in August. I mentally experimented with this notion, and discovered that I felt surprisingly comfortable with it. Not only does it feel comfortable, it feels right.

And so I found another runner to take my spot at the Around The Bay race and I transferred my registration to him. As soon as I received payment from him, I signed up for the Midsummer Night’s Run. Now I can comfortably ease myself into outdoor training, and I will have an entire summer to train for this new distance. It means that I will only be running two half-marathons this year instead of three, but that’s OK.

And that is really the whole point of this post – that there is no shame in changing a goal. This time last year, I would have been horrified at the thought of not running Around The Bay. I would have berated myself for deciding to cut a half-marathon from my schedule. I would have thought of myself as a failure, as a person who gives up. But something in me has changed in the last year. Maybe I’m just getting older and wiser, or maybe I’m getting more realistic. Or maybe I’m simply realising that I deserve to give myself a bit of a break.

I still have some things to work on – like sorting out some kind of regular income, and developing eating habits that are consistently healthy. But I feel that in accepting and embracing changes to what I want to accomplish, I am at least moving closer to being happier with who I am.

This is an original post by Kirsten Doyle. Photo credit: RichardStep.com. This picture has a creative commons attribution license.

post

14 Things I Want To Accomplish In 2014

9359645020_cdf5c42b76

1. Stretch myself to run a distance longer than the half-marathon. I am registered for the Around The Bay 30K race at the end of March.

2. Publish the book I wrote for 2013 NaNoWriMo. It may not be a best-seller (or maybe it will – who knows?), but I want to end 2014 being able to say that I’m a published author.

3. Sort out, for once and for all, my messed up relationship with food. For thirty years I’ve been flip-flopping between eating disorders and I’m tired of it.

4. Bring to fruition everything I have set in motion to get funding and support for our non-profit youth recording studio.

5. Get my home office space properly organized. That includes getting a new office chair so my ass stops sliding onto the floor.

6. Declutter my house and get rid of clothing, toys and things that are no longer used.

7. Run a half-marathon faster than 2:15:00.

8. Establish a habit of going to bed by 10:30 every night.

9. Stick to my training plans, without making excuses about the weather or how hard it is to wake up early in order to run or go to the gym.

10. Learn to cook more things from scratch. This year, I learned how to make great Hollandaise sauce and cook fish. Next, I want to conquer Alfredo sauce and find a semi-healthy recipe for cheesecake.

11. Make more effort to stay in contact with my brother. He is a really awesome guy and I miss him. I want him to be a bigger part of my life.

12. Complete another two credits for my post-grad writing certification. I am working on my third right now, and I want to have five done by this time next year.

13. Spend more time with friends. Virtually all of my friendships are conducted via the Internet. While that is highly convenient for my introverted self, it is good for the soul to be in the same room as a friend having a good chat. Preferably with wine.

14. Be comfortable being me, instead of trying to be a person I think other people want me to be.

 

What are your goals for the next year?

This is an original post by Kirsten Doyle. Photo credit: joesive47. This picture has a creative commons attribution license.